Through the Struggles of Life with Asperger's Syndrome
by NaruSaku1991
Summary: This is about my life, I have Asperger's Syndrome and I explain in detail the trials I go through everyday I live.


Through The Struggles of Life With Asperger's Syndrome

By: Blake Hosier

Copyright: 2016

Chapter 1

Hi, my name is Blake Hosier and this is my story. I am just a simple human being like everyone else. However, I am dealing with a mental disability called, Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's is a high functioning form of the Autism Spectrum Disorder, I was diagnosed in 2003 by a psychologist named, Doctor Timothy Rogers, I was only 12 years of age, and I was going into sixth grade when I was diagnosed. I had a hard time making friends with my classmates at the Old Town program in Old Town, Maine, where I attended until my second semester of seventh grade, by then I had two friends, One of whom was a girl I liked named Tiana, I considered her to be my first girlfriend, even though I was two grades behind her, she was the one person I could turn to when I needed to talk about personal issues I was dealing with. Another friend I had made was Carl, he was an okay person, a little creepy though, Carl was someone who you might say had split personalties, or in religious terminology, Demon possessed, but he was an okay kid, or was until he witnessed his father kill his own mother and then himself, a week later he was admitted into the Acadia hospital for Acute Schitzophrenic Disorder, while he was at the Acadia hospital, he had been being bullied by others who also had multiple or split personalities, later that night, Carl while in his room during quiet time, had been sitting on his bed pondering on the death of his mother at his father's hand, and the suicide of his own father. He decided that he couldn't take it anymore, found a wire hanger in his closet and bent into a shape of a noose, stood on the work desk in the room (which were movable at the time), placed the noose part of the wire around his neck, kicked the desk to the side and hung himself. One of the staff found him hanging from the ceiling in his room not even thirty seconds after he kicked the desk away and she yelled for help, three staff ran down the hall and saw Carl hanging from the ceiling and they got him down, not even ten seconds following the staff getting him down he died, so Carl had indeed committed suicide, and later that same night, in Glenburn, Tiana who was suppose to graduate that summer was killed in a car accident along with her mother and her older brother, the news of Carl's suicide and Tiana's death in the accident, hit the staff and students hard the very next day, two of the teachers said, that Carl was suicidal to begin with, and that he had attempted to kill himself, while he was at school, so they told placed him in a room, which they called the restraint room, and stood two members at the door, they made sure he couldn't hurt himself. After the news of Carl's Suicide reached the students, A troublesome brat named, Baxter said something about Carl that made me snap, this is what he said, "Carl, he got what was coming to him, if he wouldn't have done away with himself, I sure would've!" That was all I needed to blow a fuse in my brain, when the fuse blew, I attacked him first of all with a pair of scissors which the staff forcibly took from me, and put me in a restraint, then Baxter spoke again and said, "Boy anyone who wanted to have Carl as a friend must be either, Suicidal themselves or out of their mind." he looked right at me when he said it too. I grew so angry that I broke out of the restraint, the two staff who had put me in the restraint were at least three hundred pounds or more pure muscle, and they're like, How could he get out of our restraint without hurting himself or us? I grabbed a sharp metal object which looked like a steak knife off the principal's desk and charged at Baxter, with as much force I could, and I still had the sharp object in my hand as I was charging at him, he dodged my melee attack like I was barely even moving and then the teachers seeing that I was armed and charging at Baxter again, stepped in and one of them was the one teacher who always helped me calm down, she told me, "Blake, put down the knife and take a few deep breaths, I know what he said about Carl really upset you and I apologize, but trying to kill him won't solve anything, the only solution that would bring is, you murdering one of your fellow students, being admitted to the Acadia and a criminal charge of Manslaughter, which is a federal crime, and you could be put on Death Row, is that what you want Blake?" I looked over at her, and in a calm but still irritated voice I said, "No, that's not what I want, not at all." so I bent down and placed the knife on the floor at the feet of the principal's desk, and I went with her downstairs to the quiet room where I stayed for the rest of the day, I even did my school work there, when the teacher responsible for announcing the rides of the students said that my ride was there, the teacher that was at the door of the quiet room told another teacher to go and get my stuff, and bring it back to me, Meaghan who was the teacher, that told me to calm down brought my stuff to me, and then after I put my coat on and my backpack over my shoulders, she along with two other teachers escorted me to my ride, which they said would have to happen for the next five days, to the classroom and to my ride so that I would stay away from Baxter and they would keep him away from me. The ride home was even more upsetting because, I was always being picked on by the other kids on the bus, and today just wasn't a good day for that to happen, Hannah and three of the other kids who rode the bus with me, had been picking on me, since I started riding the bus to and from school. Hannnah called me a Lunatic, so I grabbed her by the neck of her shirt and I pulled her closer to me, and I told her in a very angry tone of voice, "Listen you ugly B*tch, if you ever call me a F***ing lunatic again, I'll beat the living Sh*t out of you, do you understand me, A**hole!?" I then let go of her and she went back to sit in her seat, I wanted to kill her, but I couldn't. The next day came, I was out waiting for my bus to arrive, when the bus finally came, I got on and I saw Hannah looking at me and I grew angry and turned to get off but the drvier had already closed the doors, but the lights were still flashing, I told the driver that I wasn't gonna ride the bus if Hannah was on it, so this is what the bus driver did, he told me that I need to start getting along with her, whether I liked it or not, and he assigned me a seat, where I would sit everyday to and from school. When I found out that my assigned seat was right next to Hannah, I refused to continue riding the bus. But, my bus driver told me that if I didn't sit in my assigned seat, then I wouldn't be able to ride that bus ever again, so I just took a few deep breaths and calmly walked over to Hannah's seat she asked me in a kind and friendly tone, "Do you want the outside or Inside?" the bus was still on the road with the red lights flashing, so the bus driver pulled over to the side and turned off the lights so people could go by. I looked at Hannah for a minute or two without a reply, I was still upset that I had to still ride the bus with her, especially when I knew, I now had to sit next to her everyday on the way to school and back home. I finally was calm enough to reply, "Hannah, I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much to pick on me everyday but whatever I did was wrong and i'm very sorry." She looked at me and said something that hurt me even more than her picking on me everyday, "You didn't do anything, my parents abuse me all the time and I'm afraid to make friends because of them, that's why I'm rude to everyone, but believe me when I say this, I really don't mean to hurt you in any way with how I act, the truth is I want to be friends with you, but with my parents beating me, it's hard to trust people enough to be friends with them, and that's why i'm mean to people, I push them away from me so that I don't have anyone to hurt me like my parents. I'm truely sorry for how i've been acting and I wish that we could become friends but i'm too scared that i'll get hurt by you or someone else who I befriend." when I heard what she told me, I sat down next to her and I said this, "Hannah, I know how hard it is to make friends, it is harder for me to make friends because of my temper, but I have had friends and both of them are now dead, and now I have none. It really hurts me when you and other people make fun of me, and call me names, but most of all, it hurts me a lot more to hear that someone is being abused by their own parents. especially when that someone actually wants to make friends, but is afraid to because of their parents. I forgive you Hannah and I know what it's like to be hurt, my parents may not abuse me like your's do, but I've been hurt many times, by people that always pick on me, I am hurt by the things you've said about me and the names you've called me in the past, but I want for us to put that aside, and be friends, can we put aside the way we've been treating each other and forget about how your parents hurt and abuse you? Will you please start trusting people, I mean not everyone is like your parents, I really do want to be your friend, the very day I started riding this bus, I said to myself, 'Blake, that girl needs a friend and you need to be her friend.' I was always nice to you until the day you started picking on me, I was trying to befriend you since the first day that I met you, and then when you began making fun of me, I started feeling hurt and that's when I decided, 'if she's gonna make fun of me, then maybe I shouldn't bother being friends with her.' But since I've actually learned the real reason why you're rude to me, I've changed my mind about not being friends with you, Hannah, you need friends and I want to be one of them. True friends are always there for one another, Hannah and no matter what, I promise to be there for you, if something happens and you need someone to talk to, I'll be there for you, that's what friends are for, and if you ever need something, even a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there for you." Hannah suddenly broke out in tears, and I lightly placed her head on my shoulder and told her, "It's alright Hannah, it's okay, i'm here for you. I just want you to know that I'm here if ever you need me. I'll be there no matter what." The bus driver started the engine up and pulled back onto the road and continued the journey to my school, Little did I know, was that Hannah actually went to my school. Shortly after Tiana's death, I developed a huge crush on a girl with brown hair, who was in my homeroom, but I never knew her name, I even told Hannah about how I had a huge crush on a girl in my homeroom, but by the time I told her, we were pulling into the school parking lot and when the bus stopped to drop us off, Hannah and I both got off together, when the teachers saw that I was walking and talking with the girl, who I told them had been picking on me everyday, they walked up to us and asked if everything was ok. I answered, "Yes, everything is fine, Hannah and I are finally beginning to get along." When the teachers heard me say that they said to me, "Blake, how would you like it if we let you and Hannah walk to class together?" I replied, "That would be nice, I actually need to ask her something personal that she told me about on the bus." So the teachers allowed Hannah and I to walk to class with each other, I asked her, "Hannah where is your homeroom, and I'll walk you there?" She told me, "My homeroom is Mr. Galvin's classroom, where's yours Blake?" When I heard that she was in Mr. Galvin's classroom, I told her that I was in Mr. Galvin's class too. She asked me, "Blake, what color hair does the girl you like have?" I told her, "Brown, Why?" She told me that Caroline and herself were the only two girls in our classrom that had brown hair. I then told her that the girl I like sat next to me in class. She giggled and then said, "there's only one girl with brown hair who sits next to you, Blake." I then asked, "Who is it, Hannah?" This was her response, "Blake, the girl you've been crushing on knows you have a crush on her." I then asked, "Who is she?" She told me, "Blake, don't freak out now, but the girl who sits next to in homeroom is none other, than me." When I finally learned that the girl who I had a huge crush on was really Hannah, I was shocked. "It's you Hannah!' All this time the girl that I had a crush on was you! How can that be!?" She and I walked to where we hang up our jackets and backpacks, I saw that her coat hanger was right next to mine and, I never knew it, so she sat next to me in class, hung her coat and backpack on the hook next to mine, was making fun of me on the bus, now I sit in the same seat as her on the bus and now she's being nice to me, something was going on, either I was going crazy or she actually had a crush on me as well. but something was up, or so I thought. Hannah finally told me the truth, she told me, how she realized I needed a friend, and how she asked the principal to re-assign the place she hung her coat and book bag, and sure enough the principal allowed her to choose where she wanted to hang her belongings and she chose the hook next to mine. here's what shocked me the most, Hannah had always been nice to me in school. But, I never knew she was the girl who was mean to me on the bus, now I know the truth, and what shocked me most of all was what she told me as we walked into homeroom. This is what she said, "Blake, I need to tell you something, I knew all this time that the boy who I sat next to in class was you, and when I finally came to realize that you had a crush on me, I started being nicer to you, I shouldn't have called you a lunatic yesterday and I apologize for upsetting you, I finally came to realize that all this time I was nice to you in class but I was making fun of you on the ride to and from school everyday, and here's something you should know, I actually like you more than you know, and honestly it hurts me more to know that I've been hurting the boy I've been crushing on since the day he sat next to me for the first time in class. 'Yes, Blake I do have a crush on you, and that's why I started being nice to you on the bus, I just thought you should know, and I wish that I could take back all the mean things said about you and the names I called you on the bus. but I know that once someone says something mean or hurtful they can't take it back no matter what. Also you should know, Today is February 14 also known as Valentine's day." I looked down at my cellphone and sure enough it was the 14th of February, and I saw that everyone except for made an envelope for their classmates to put Valentine cards in. so before anyone else showed up for class, I asked Hannah if she would help me make a Valentine's envelope, so people could put their Valentine's Day cards in, Hannah had made a spare envelope in case somehow she lost hers, so she gave me her spare envelope, and I thanked her. She told me not to worry about it and then she said that she owed me big time for how she had been treating me on the bus. I told her not to worry about it, and then I made a list of all my classmates in alphabetical order by their lastname, surprisingly Hannah was the first person on my list, because no one else's last name started with the letters A-I, other then myself, So I made a special Valentine for Hannah, and when she walked off to use the bathroom I put it in her envelope and then I made one for the rest of my classmates and placed the card with each of their names on it in their own respected envelopes, I was sitting back down just as everyone was walking into the classroom, that way no one knew I had been the first one to put Valentines in everyone's envelope. Sarah, a girl who I knew liked me, immediately checked her envelope and saw who had put the card with her name on it in her envelope, and she looked over and smiled at me, but I mouthed the words, "Sarah, I put a card in everyone's envelope, I was the first one to do so, by the way, please don't tell Hannah but, I made a special one just for her. Okay?" Sarah nodded and told me she wouldn't tell anyone, that I was the one to put the first Valentine in their envelopes, and then she sat down at her desk. Hannah walked into the room and she saw a card already in her envelope, and she smiled at me, she must've known that I'd put a Valentine in her envelope as soon as she left the room, because she came up to me and give me what I thought would be a hug, but she actually kissed me on the cheek, and thanked me for the card, then she sat down at her desk. Caitlyn who was the girl that sat behind us, came up to me and asked me, "Blake, why did Hannah just kiss you on the cheek?" I looked over toward Hannah and she mouthed these words to me, "Tell Caitlyn, that you and I are dating." Caitlyn who luckily bent down to tie her shoe as I was turning to look at Hannah, and just as I was turning back to face Caitlyn she was standing back up, and she asked me again, "Blake, why did Hannah, kiss you on the cheek?" That was when I told Caitlyn, "Cat, Hannah and I are dating, that is why she kissed me. please don't tell the teachers or anyone else okay?" Caitlyn made a T shape over her chest and said she wouldn't tell a soul, I finally realized that she had crossed her heart, which is a strong promise that if broken would bring severe consequences, so sure enough she never told a soul about what Hannah told me to tell her although, it wasn't the truth. Finally, Mr. Galvin walked into the room and said good morning, everyone said hello to him and then we all became quiet and listened to him, he announce that everyone was not going to put the Valentines that they made for everyone in the envelopes that they made they were just going to pass them out, and so everyone took the card that I put in their envelope out and set it on their desks, and then they passed out the Valentines that they made for each other, the only thing is, once everyone passed around their Valentine to each other I only got two, One from Hannah and the other from Victoria, who was the Class comedian. No one else even ackowledged me as their classmate, they acted as if I was not even there, which hurt me a lot. I reached in my desk to find my pencil and when I stuck my hand in my desk, I didn't feel my pencil but several envelopes, which I pulled out, thinking was just a bunch of junk and everyone, looked at me like what's he doing, suddenly Caitlyn, leaned forward and asked me, "Are you gonna open your Valentines from everyone?" I looked at her and said, "Caitlyn, what're talking about I already did, I only got two, One from Hannah and the other from Victoria." That was when she said, "Guess again, Blake, the envelopes which were in your desk that you pulled out as if they were garbage were your Valentines from everyone else, you weren't here on Tuesday, and we didn't think that you'd be here yesterday, so we put the valentines for you from all of us in your desk. Open them Blake, everyone's waiting." I looked at the first envelope and it said, Happy late Birthday Blake and Happy Valentine's Day, so I opened the first one, It was from Alyson the girl, I spilled juice on at lunch yesterday, She put $20 along with the Valentine card in the same envelope, so I pocketed the $20 and then thanked her, the next one I opened was from Katelyn S., she never missed my birthday since I started going there except for my recent one, so she gave me a $20 gift card to Walmart, and made a special Valentine card for me. By the time, I finished opening all of my classmate's and teacher's Valentine's Day cards, I had pocketed over $125 and it was only three minutes until lunchtime, which meant I took almost the whole day opening my Valentine's Cards and late birthday gifts. I was the happiest one there, by the time lunch came around I was over a hundred dollars richer than I was when I arrived that morning, during Lunch, I asked Hannah to go out with me, the Teacher overheard me ask Hannah to go out with me, Mr. Galvin said that she has to get permission from her parents and that was when she said, "My parents, they don't even love me, here's why, They beat everyday when I get home from school and I can't take anymore of them abusing me, so I'm in the process of having my older sister, Madeline, get guardianship, they treated her the same way and until she packed a bunch of clothes and personal belongings and left that life behind, she even to our baby brother and sister, who she treats as if they were her own children, like a mother should, and that's with love, gentleness and kindness. She even takes them to work with her, where she puts them in the play pen with other kids their age, incase you're all wondering what my sister does for work, She co-owns a daycare center, three blocks from here. so it's okay for her to take them to work with her, I'd rather have Madeline be my Guardian than my actual parents who are very abusive towards me, My sister knows that I am in the process of her getting guardianship over me, call her my phone has her number in it, and now would be a good time anyway since she's on her lunch break." She took her phone out and dialed her sister's cell phone number, and put it on speaker so everyone could hear, "Hello, Hannah how are you?" Hannah said, I'm good for now sis, what are you up to?" Madeline answered, "On my lunch break sis, why?" suddenly out of nowhere Hannah asked, "Maddie, a boy my age just asked me out, and I was wondering if you'd approve of me dating him, Please?" There was a pause on the other end for just a few seconds, and then a response came, Hannah that's DHS on the other line, one minute please." Hannah spoke, "Okay." Hannah and the rest of us waited for about five minutes and then Madeline returned and said, "Hannah, I have good news, I am now officially your guardian, but I also have bad news, see the daycare is starting a daycare branch in Bangor and I have to open it and operate it, which means, that I have to move to Bangor, which is bad news for you, because you'll have to go to another school." Hannah asked, "Maddie, what do you mean, there are people who live in Bangor that go to school here, and if you move to Bangor, I can still attend here. plus I can still see the boy I like everyday as well." Madeline then spoke up, "What's his name?, and is he actually there right now?" Hannah spoke and said, "Sis, his name is Confidential, and Yes, he is here." Madeline than spoke, "Put him on, I want to talk to him." I finally spoke up, "Madeline, I am the boy, your sister likes, and I am the one who asked her out also. Will you give me your permission as her guardian, for me to date her?" Madeline said, "Tell me your name and than I'll give you my answer." I spoke up and said, "My name is, Blake Joseph Hosier, and I am friends with your sister, actually, we became friends today, because use to pick on me on the bus ride to school and home everyday, since I started attending here." Madeline replied, "Wait are you the one who had a friend that died in the car accident earlier this week?" I answered her with, "Yes, I am." Madeline than told me her response to my question, "Blake, if you promise not to be disrespectful or hurt my little sister, Hannah, then you have my permission to date her."


End file.
